IS DISCIPLINE? According to Dr. Sears
- Giving your child the tools to succeed in life.
- Doing whatever you have to do to like living
with your children
- Discipline is based on building the right
relationship with a child more than using the right techniques.
- Helping your child develop inner controls that
last a lifetime.
day I was watching a family in my waiting room. The child played
happily a few feet away from the
frequently returning to her lap for a brief emotional refueling, then
darting off again. As he ventured farther away, he glanced back at her
for approval. Her nod and smile said "It's okay," and he confidently
explored new toys. The few times the child started to be disruptive,
the mother connected eye-to-eye with him and the father physically
redirected him so that he received the clear message that a change in
behavior was needed. There was a peace about the child and a
comfortable authority in the parents. It was easy to see that they had
a good relationship.
I couldn't resist complimenting them: "You are good disciplinarians."
Surprised, the father replied, "But we don't spank our child."
understanding of the word "discipline" was obviously different. Like
many other parents, they equated discipline with reacting to bad behavior. She
didn't realize that discipline is mostly what you do
to encourage good behavior. It's better to keep a child from falling
down in the first place than to patch up bumps and scrapes after he has
taken the tumble.
is everything you put into children that influences how they turn out.
But how do you want your child to turn out? What will your child need
from you in order to become the person you want him or her to be?
Whatever your ultimate objectives, they must be rooted in helping your
child develop inner controls that last a lifetime. You want the
guidance system that keeps the child in check at age four
to keep his behavior on track at age forty, and you want this system to
be integrated into the child's whole personality, a part of him or her.
If your child's life were on videotape and you could fast-forward a few
decades, what are the qualities you would like to see in the adult on
the tape? Here is our wish list for our children:
- sense of humor
- confidence and
- ability to focus on goals
- wisdom to make right choices
- honesty, integrity
- ability to form intimate relationships
- healthy sexuality
- respect for authority
- a sense of responsibility
- skills to solve problems
- desire to learn
Links To Other Websites For More Information About
Positive Discipline Methods
Parent Education Program
Ask Dr. Sears About
material in this website is provided for information purposes only.
This information is not a substitute for, medical diagnosis, medical
advice, or medical treatment prescription. Consult your health care
provider for more information. If you are in Pittsburgh and
midwife, send email to PghMidwife (at) naturalattachment.com